


I Promise

by phunWorks



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Mental Breakdown, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 11:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9893186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phunWorks/pseuds/phunWorks
Summary: He promised but he needs to break it. It hurts too much.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heavy trigger warning.

“Fuck!” His fist hit the cemented wall repeatedly as more and more tears fell down his cheeks. How ever many times of breaking his knuckles, Tyler wasn’t able to create a fist anymore. His knuckles were already swelling underneath the drying blood that caked them. It took a moment later for him to feel another outburst emerging. He turned to the other wall in the small office set-up garage. His unharmed hand went into the mirror, shattering glass fell from the frame as his knuckles, fingers and wrist began bleeding. That’s not enough, he thought to himself. He deserved so much worse. He pulled his jacket sleeve up to his elbow and reached down for a larger shard of glass. It cut into his palm and fingers when he grabbed it. Good, he thought as he pressed it to his forearm and began cutting away. After half of his forearm was filled he stopped, realizing that it still wasn’t enough. It still wasn’t making his pain stop. He threw the shard across the garage, connecting with a picture frame atop the shop table.  
He walked over to pick up the frame and locked eyes with the blue ones in the photo. More tears began falling from his eyes and he tossed the frame against the wall next to him. A piece chipped and hit below his eye. His fingertips felt only a scratch. “Screw it,” he said with a rough voice. He charged through the door into the kitchen. The cabinet door was swung open so hard one of the hinges came loose, forcing the door to stay crooked as Tyler rummaged through his cabinet. A series of prescription drugs lay in front of him but then he remembered, this didn’t work last time. What would make this time any different? He kicked the lower cabinet door under the counter, hard enough that his boot went through it. He pulled it out angrily and began throwing the prescriptions across the kitchen, one by one. Wait. There was always Josh’s room, he reminded himself. Tyler ran upstairs and straight across from his own bedroom, there was Josh’s. Tyler opened the door and went to his closet. There it was. Josh hadn’t been here long enough to move his safe in. That’s where he was now, at his house getting the safe and his bed frame. Tyler grabbed the cool metal gently and pulled it from it’s resting place. First things, first; yep, it was loaded, Tyler thought to himself. He cocked the .12 semi-automatic and took it off safety. He sat himself on Josh’s mattress that had laid on the floor without a frame for a little over a week. The butt of the weapon balanced on his boot, he stared down at the barrel.  
This was it, this was his way out. Permanently. He wrapped his chapped lips around the barrel. He cried even more than he already had been. He never wanted to do this. Death wasn’t something he actually desired. He just needed it to stop. All of it. The pain, the loneliness, the sorrow. More than any of it, he needed to forget what happened. All he really wanted was to be with her. He needed it. How could she ask him to live without her? She had asked too much in that moment. He promised. Why did he have to do that? He knew he couldn’t live without her. Worse, it should’ve been him. He should’ve been the one behind the wheel that night. He should’ve been the one who took the full force of a semi going sixty. “Tyler,” he heard a voice say. He opened his eyes and saw Josh at the door. “Don’t,” he croaked. “Please, Ty….don’t.” Tyler somewhat involuntarily dropped the gun out of his mouth and to the floor. He fell to his knees beside it. Not a few seconds longer, he felt Josh’s arms around him. Tyler rested his head in Josh’s chest, his sobs even more uncontrollable.

“Why did it have to be her,” Tyler let out. Josh held him even tighter. “Why didn’t she take me with her….” Tyler’s sobs took over. He couldn’t speak any longer. Just stayed there on his knees crying into Josh. Josh never loosened his grip. Just stayed there with him.

“You’ll get through this,” Josh said in a weak voice. “I’ll get you through this.”

“I promise.”


End file.
